Alexa play Villain by Lilly Rose!

Alright ya’ll, now let’s take those rose colored sunglasses off and get to the real raw truth!

Goodness Gracious, who would have thought I’d ever come to realization of actually seeing the truth! Ya’ll my heart is BIG, it doesn’t matter how bad someone hurts me I have always looked for the best in every single person! Everything that’s ever happened, I find the ways to blame me first! I’m my own worst enemy!

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LET’S talk about manipulation! The last 10 months were nothing short of being manipulated, every single thing that happened was on ” His Terms” when we hung out, what we did, who we saw, and once it was no longer just him calling the shots, that’s when things started changing!

This man, goodness I loved him regardless how I was treated, when I was ignored, how many times I spent days crying because ” said the wrong thing” or because I asked questions he didn’t want to anwser!

I wasn’t allowed to ever make plans in advance, I wasn’t allowed to make the calls, I didn’t pick what we watched, I just did as he decided. I didn’t mind, I mean he was mine so it was okay! He’d do something sweet and pull me back in if I didn’t like something or acted even slightly different!

back to this… ” He was mine, it was okay” do you know how many times I justified his behavior to my friends! Every single time! I had to embellish him to not have to listen to everyone tell me to leave, tell me I deserved better, tell me he was basically just using me! They didn’t know him, they didn’t see us together, they didn’t realize what was behind his heart. These were all excuses I made! I absolutely defended him on a weekly basis! I justified someone who constantly was on his pof, tinder and Facebook dating the entire time we were together! Someone I justified as he was just scared of feelings and that’s why he was the way he was! He’d been hurt, he was broken, I needed to fix it for him! Never once did I question anything he did, and if I did he’d go quiet on me!

I mean let’s be honest, what ma’am doesn’t want a complete submissive. I set that bar higher and higher every time we’d see each other! I went above and beyond all the time, and I wouldn’t dare mess up! I was too afraid I’d lose my “favorite place” “my safe place” I’d simply lose him and I wasn’t willing to do that! You see for a year and 7 months before MP I didn’t sleep unless someone was next to me or close by! So finally having a place I could go and actually safely sleep was everything! I hated my house, I still hate this house with every fiber in my heart!

I went above most, if he wanted something or had a dream to have something I pushed to help him get it! I believed in that man with everything I had! I believed I truly loved this man and there wasn’t anything that would stop me from giving him what he wanted, even when what he wanted was clearly not what I wanted! I thought that if I kept him happy and did more than most, I’d surely have him forever, right?!?

As things changed, regardless how this all happened or the way it was. That man, caught feelings and then got pissed at me for it. Legit threw a fit like a small child! How dare I try to plan him a surprise party with his friend for his birthday? The adastity of me! I must be blocked for having a good heart! I definitely deserved that 🙄!

but then 2 hours later ill get unblocked for 5 days without any word!

then I was really an asshole cuz i left him a voice mail 5 days later that just said “I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday, you can reach out to me when your ready!”

Once again that big Ole heart caused nothing but trouble because that night I wasrandomly blocked on fb again 🤣. At this point I’m finally done crying and I’m pissed!I didn’t do Anthing wrong! Not one time did I doAnything but be kind to this man I thought I loved! Like legit I was 100 the perfect other half, he got his cake and his ice cream 🍦 too! All I ever asked for was a couple nights a week or of that entire 10 months, a couple nights at home a week and a couple nights out legit in 10 months! !

I gave up everything on the spur of the moment for a man who I was bound determined to spend forever with because the mind games were hard core! He legit knew when and how to pull me right back in Aden he knew I was questioning things or thinking of leaving! He knew when things were rocky and decided to play the feelings game! I mean I legit gave that man a minimum of a 2 hour massage every time I was near him except the rare few times I was too tired or emotionally drained! How dare I show that heart of mine 😤 🙄

them to top it off, I get to be the villain when he’s confronted by a mutual friend ,who may I remind you road this whole rollar coaster with me for the last few months! I was the bad guy because someone filled his head with lies about my past in April while we were split up those 8 weeks! But the kicker was…. he found this information out in April, then a month later he asked me to come back, I denied in the beginning but a few days later I went because I was struggling sleeping and needed my safe place. So if this rumor was such a big deal, why even ask me to come back and never bring it up until he was asked why he eliminated me without any words and that’s the only thing he could pull out of his bag! A lie! The best part about it is, he could have asked me at any point in the last 5 months after he had me come back what happened and I would have told him! So once he was confronted about this knowledge from April, he no longer would accept talking about me 🤣! Just poof, I was noon existent, and if she brought up my name or a comment about me, he simple responded with I don’t want to talk about Lacey! Of course not bruh, because you know good and well I’ve never done one single thing wrong to you, I simply thought I loved you! So basically no one really knows if he ran because he was scared of his feelings or because I was just a pon in his game but regardless at the end of the day, he can be the ” Hero,” I’ll take the fall, whatever helps him sleep at night, tell them it’s all my fault”

I will say this, I hold NO SKELETONS PEOPLE! I’VE HAD TO ADMIT TO EACH AND EVERYONE I HAD AND FACE IT! I lost friendships because of choices I’ve made and had to own but I did it because they deserved the truth! If I can own those scary secrets, and throw away years of friendships then why wouldn’t I own anything else! If I can give anyone any advice, always ask before your assume sometimes telling you something. There’s multiple sides to every story but as for mine, ill choose to own it EVERY SINGLE TIME, VILLAIN OR NOT because it doesn’t matter what everyone else thinks of me as long as I know I’m being true to who I am and my heart that’s all I care about anymore! Reputation only goes so far, but make sure you have the whole story before you try spread anything you weren’t there to see!