Ohhh Coping Mechanisms, where did you go

So let’s talk about Coping Mechanisms or better yet….. let’s talk about skills of survival!

For me, my way of survival for 22 years <mind you I’m 34> revolved around a lot of different ways to “survive” to “love” to “feel worthy”

1. Gossip
2. Alcohol
3. Drugs
4. Self blame
5. Sex
6. Self harm
7. Suicide
8. Self destruction
9. HUMOR

I feel like each and every one of these topics are something that truly describes who I once was and who I never want to be again! Do I have regrets? I’d love to say yes, but No… no really I don’t! Each and every part of my past, had made me into the human I am now! I’m damn proud of who I am! So nope, no regrets! I depended on these coping mechanisms every day to survive! When I started breaking the coping mechanisms. I started finding my worth! That in itself is a BIG thing! I had to find ways to break the cycles! Was it hard, He’ll Yes! Did I cry? More than most can imagine! Did it hurt, every single day! I even joked about it too protect myself yes I sure did! I would even joke about the fact that my therapist “ruined all my coping mechanisms 🤣 That hag! She knew I was kidding but goodness gracious in blessed she helped me kick each one of these to the curb! Don’t get me wrong, I still fall short occasionally but I see that so much faster and I catch myself now. Oh hey, those red flags are super clear now and I should step back before I go back to that lacey! It’s hard, it’s hard to have to call yourself out constantly but if I don’t own it and fix it…. no one else is going to!

the goal is to talk about each and every one of these coping mechanisms in full but not here, little by little as I’m ready 😉! Some are easier, some are hard to talk about but each one plays such an important piece to my story, it’s time to let the light shine!

signing off, Lacey Sue