This… This right freaking here! Let’s talk about people pleasing! Ya’ll know me and if you don’t, you’ll learn I was a master of this trade!
my entire purpose in life was pleasing everyone, doing whatever I could to make everyone happy, I’ve always been easily manipulated, I never have wanted to disappoint anyone! I know what that feels like, I hated being a disappointment! what I learned later in life was the only person I was disappointing, was me!
I was lonely enough that I felt if I kept myself busy by feeling a good friend and family member that I’d always have people around! Even when those people purpose in ME, was only what they could get from me!
Being busy nonstop is not only exhausting but it’s also one of the biggest trauma based expressions one can show! If you are constantly busy you don’t have to worry about anyone else opinions, you aren’t alone because you’re always surrounded around humans or things. When my therapist would ask, why are you doing so much? I’d simply say, they need me to, I’ve gotta help this person, and famous I can’t let anyone down. That’s when she slowly tried to teach me that all I was doing was running from everything I needed to help everyone who didn’t really need me! I slowly started stepping back from getting like I owed everyone something, and let me tell you this. When I stopped being everyone’s perfect go to, I slowly found my self worth.
Waking and realizing that I didn’t owe the world or humans Anything made a world of a difference to me. Waking up to realize that it was okay to not be everyone’s hero, is okay! Coming to the realization that I really had less humans in my life that would help me or be there for me really opened my eyes! It slowly made telling people no, a lot easier!
Not everyone took No, very well but it sure did help weed out those humans who are only in my life for whatever I could do for them. Sad but true! Once there purpose in me was complete, I was pushed to the side until they needed something else!
The hard facts when this came to light, hurt! It completely sucked but it also taught me some really good life lessons. I learned how to tell people no, im to busy, I just don’t want to, and realizing I only needed to do what was best for me and my family and not the rest of the world. You can’t please everyone, in fact some people can never be pleased or happy. So stop trying! Stop giving all of you, to people who will do nothing to help you. Stop swimming oceans for people who won’t walk through puddles for you. Stop pushing yourself past a breaking point for people who won’t acknowledge that they care!
Start doing you, only do you! This world isant here for you to be everyone’s B*the. Your place in this world is to live, laugh and love. You are here because you are important! I get it’s so hard to let people go on without you, but at some point you have to say. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! You have to love yourself enough to not be a people pleaser to an extreme. You need to do what’s best for you and yours, you are not responsible for everyone else happiness!
SIgning off, LaceySue