This is a lesson I’ve been really digging into! Ya know, I’ve got this big ole ❤️ and I just GIVE IT AWAY FREELY! I am horrible at holding anyone accountable on the levels of what they give…. I just try to make up the difference and love ppl unapologetically!
For the first time, in my entire life…. im loving myself unapologetically and learning that it’s okay to expect the same from those who are in my life! I do my best to be there for the people i love but im horrible about feeling bad for needing someone to be there for me. I’ve always hated feeling like an inconvenience and that is where my insecurities lied! I was scared to need ppl, because let’s be honest people let you down! I was scared to get truly close to anyone, afraid they’d use my insecurities against me like In the past! I come off as this strong independent woman but in reality prior to the last couple weeks …… I’ve been nothing but scared of the world! Scared of judgement, scared of not being approved, scared I don’t fit in…. ya’ll my anxiety is normally EXTREME!
Then one of my friends decided to start sending me a daily reminder oh how far I’ve come and just positive reminders! She sent this meme and I giggled because the night before that…. I litterly told a piece of my past…. “if you want to be in my life, you’re gonna have to fight to be there”
the old me would never have the balls to say that, let alone to someone I cared very deeply about. But I realized with relationships and friendships… its SO DAMN IMPORTANT to always say what you mean, be who you are… those who love you will understand and those who don’t can get the hell out! For the first time in holding everyone including myself accountable… if I love you wether it’s a a friend, family, or relationships, ill give you my all but i expect the same from you! If we can’t hold each other accountable and be 50/50 what’s the point! I’ve got to stop self doubting myself and hold people accountable for their actions and just assuming “ITS FINE, I MUST DESERVE IT” NOOOOOO….. this is where the status quo changes! I know my worth and I’ll hold to it without fear. At the end of the day, those who want to be in my life will and those who aren’t meant to be, thankfully God is showing me real fast how to learn to say no and walk away!
Moral of the Story—- Love Yourself Unapologetically and own it like never before and maybe just maybe you’ll love a life full of nothing but love and laughter!
until next time,