Let People Go, Without hatred

In the last year,  I’ve learned it’s okay to let go of humans to better yourself.  Some people just aren’t good for your soul! They drain your energy,  they affect your daily thinking,  they do nothing but bring you down. 

    I am one of those people who use to be “everyone’s energy around me affects me”, if your negative ima match it! I couldn’t live that way anymore! So I learned with lots of therapy and friends that it can be healthy to cut ties,  I don’t need a lot of people! I need my small circle and if I get extra great and if not I don’t have to worry about it!              

It’s super strange for me to realize that quality over quantity makes a world of a difference! I use to be surrounded by so MANY HUMANS! I WAS A SOCIAL BUTTERFLY,  too an extreme! I thought I had SO MANY FRIENDS,  wrong I had so many acquaintances. It took a massive accident to happen to realize who was actually in my corner and who really didn’t care! When I broke my L3L4 in 2020 I saw who stepped up to the plate and who sat back and said nothing! That SPOKE VOLUMES to me! When you can’t work,  can’t do Anything,  and you are stressing life in general, afraid of how you are going to pay bills,  take care of your kids,  and what not it’s scary.  Thank goodness for my real friends.  I’d been lost with out a few forsure.        

Thats when I started cutting ties and living a much more simpler life! Really that accident honestly taught me so much.  It taught me that life’s short and it could have been SO MUCH WORSE! That moment right there is when I realized I needed to change and I needed to start living for me and my babies NOT everyone else.                

I’ve always been that girl everyone could count on,  I did my best to never let anyone down. I was hard on myself if I couldn’t do what someone needed.  I needed to fix people! I had to fix people because I was too afraid to fix myself!               

Thats when I realized I had to stop trying to fix everyone else and start working really hard on fixing myself! I told my therapist it was time to start digging,  we’d dig into the past before but I was too afraid to face it.  There’s a lot no one knows,  there’s a lot that only a handful of humans know because they are there during those moments and normally once I allowed myself To get vulnerable with anyone, I’d find a way to cut them out and let them go so I didn’t have to worry about it coming back to bite me because I let someone in. 

Learned behavior is such a trauma based soul fighting experience that you have to force yourself to realize!

Let me state this though! To the people that I cut,  I don’t hate them! The people that did me wrong,  I don’t hate them.  The people who were only keeping me around for their purpose in me,  I don’t hate them.  I just have no reason to keep them in my life period. I’m done allowing people to walk in and out and only use me for their good,  and vice versa! I don’t want to be any of those things to anyone.  If I am,  ill own it and I’m sorry I hurt you.  Generally my life goals now are to not do harm,  not be bitter,  and just live my life to the fullest! If we aren’t friends,  im still rooting for you! Please do you,  fix you,  love you,  be you! Do it for you though,  not for everyone else and that in itself is a hard lesson! You have to show up EVERY SINGLE DAY, FOR YOU!

Signing off, Lacey Sue